Cant connect to database?

[mysql-async] [ERROR] connect ECONNREFUSED
keep getting this error? I am using heidiSQL, server hosting by Vibegames, I’ve entered the correct user and password and the correct sql string into the server.cfg, anybody know why i cant connect my database? is there anything else more I need to do? maybe something im missing out? I’m very new to all of this but watching youtube tutorials and following different ones with the same steps keeps leading me to this error? it is not homehosted and the ip in the data base is set to the server hosting ip so i have no idea why it keeps coming up as please someone help as I’ve tried and tried and i cant find a solution, thank you.

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