Did you open your ports in your system settings? You have to open them up for others to join the server.

how do i do that?

Windows Firewall.

i disabled that i think

do i turn off domain public and private?

Probably private, assuming that’s what you’ve classified your network as. you can do all three though.

Follow this: https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/database-engine/configure-windows/configure-a-windows-firewall-for-database-engine-access?view=sql-server-2017

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